I'm probably one of the less smart people here (while most of my friends consider me a PC genius, lol)... So based on my non-coder skills, would I be do best by loading dd-wrt, tomato or OpenWRT on my new TP Link TL-WR841N?
I've used DD-WRT before. It is fairly friendly, but actually getting a router flashed to it can be a pain in some cases. I used to have it on an ASUS RT-N16 until the roof leaked on it, and when I was looking into replacing it, I decided it was too much trouble to flash it and went with what I consider a better option, pfSense. I added a NIC to an old box and loaded it up and played with it, and now it's my favorite router. I'm using an RT-N12 as an access point for wireless.
Most routers that support DD-WRT are simple enough to flash, you just flash the stock>DD-WRT firmware first, then the full DD-WRT after that
I use DD-WRT on an old Netgear router as a wireless bridge to the other side of my home, flashed with no problems and works great!
"In the kingdom of the blind, He with one eye is king." DD-WRT is probably the most stable. Make sure your router is supported. Also, see if anybody has had problems flashing your specific router with it.