Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is based on a true story: Chuck Norris once swallowed a turtle whole, and when he crapped it out, the turtle was six feet tall and had learned karate.
Here I Come Chuck Norris once walked down the street with a massive erection. There we no survivors. Chuck Norris Does Not Get Struck by Lightning,Lightning Gets Struck By Chuck Norris
Voldemort and Harry Potter once teamed up to try and kill Chuck Norris. Apparently Harry Potter isn't the only one who can survive The Killing Curse. As for Voldemort, there is a new most feared being...
One time while sparring with Wolverine, Chuck Norris accidentally lost his left testicle. You might be familiar with it to this very day by its technical term: Jupiter.
When Chuck Norris had surgery, the anesthesia was applied to the doctors. Chuck Norris once broke the land speed record on a bicycle that was missing its chain and the back tire.
The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out. It failed misserably. A blind man once stepped on Chuck Norris' shoe. Chuck replied, "Don't you know who I am? I'm Chuck Norris!" The mere mention of his name cured this man blindness. Sadly the first, last, and only thing this man ever saw, was a fatal roundhouse delivered by Chuck Norris.
Scientists have estimated that the energy given off during the Big Bang is roughly equal to 1CNRhK (Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kick) Archeologists unearthed an old english dictionary dating back to the year 1236. It defined "victim" as "one who has encountered Chuck Norris"
James Cameron wanted Chuck Norris to play the Terminator. However, upon reflection, he realized that would have turned his movie into a documentary, so he went with Arnold Schwarzenegger. Chuck Norris once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink.
DRAGONS still exist.They are just waiting for Chuck Norris so they can attack AGAIN!! The USA never dropped the atom bomb on Japan. They just parachuted Chuck Norris over Hiroshima and Nagasaki.
Chuck Norris doesn't shave; he kicks himself in the face. The only thing that can cut Chuck Norris is Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.
pkaji123 repost repost repost Chuck Norris wrote an autobiography….it was just a list of everyone he has killed.
-Chuck Norris beat the sun at a starring contest. -Chuck Norris was bit by a king cobra. After 3 days of excruciating pain... the snake died.
Here is a good one guys ! Chuck Norris, Jesus, and Barack Obama were standing by a lake. Jesus walked out on the water and was shortly followed by Chuck. Obama tried to follow, but fell in the water. After muck kicking and splashing Jesus said: Do you think we should tell him about the "stepping stones"? Chuck then said: "What stepping stone?"