Chuck Norris once ate at a restaurant and finished his meal. Asked the waiter to come over, he wanted to give him something. The waiter thought it was a roundhouse kick so, he killed him self. Chuck Norris laughed and said; fine I'll keep the tip.
- When Chuck Norris was on the electric chair and was asked his last words he said: "hit the switch and start praying".
you know the saying ...if i tell you to jump of a 1000ft cliff would you .... well someone said that to chuck norris and he replyed no way . the first time i did that it nearly killed me
Scientists believe the world began with the "Big Bang". Chuck Norris shrugs it off as a "bad case of gas".
- Chuck Norris has never been in a fight, ever. Do you call one roundhouse kick to the face a fight? - Chuck Norris knows Victoria's Secret.
- Chuck Norris can kick a fart back into an a$$ - Chuck Norris eats beef jerky and sh*ts gun powder. Then he uses that gun powder to make a bullet, which he uses to kill a cow and make more beef jerky. Some people refer to this as the "Circle of Life"
- Chuck Norris is like a dog, not only because he can smell fear, but because he can piss on whatever he wants. - Chuck Norris uses Viagra eye-drops so he can look hard. -
- Chuck Norris was sending an email one day, when he realized that it would be faster to run. - The quickest way to a man's heart is with Chuck Norris' fist.