Wilt Chamberlain claims to have slept with more than 20,000 women in his lifetime. Chuck Norris calls this "a slow Tuesday.
Human cloning is outlawed because if Chuck Norris were cloned, then it would be possible for a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick to meet another chuck Norris roundhouse kick. Physicists theorize that this contact would end the universe
Chuck Norris was asked to join the cast of The Expendables, but once Stallone offered Chuck the part.... he did a roundhouse kick, and said with a grin.. Sly you know as well as anyone.. Chuck Norris is not expendable.
Being Chuck Norris, all he had to do was look at the doll and smile. If you ask "why he did it", answer is simple: Because he (and only he) could.
Chuck Norris’s sperm is so fertile that a woman without ovaries, a uterus, or even a vagina is still guaranteed to become pregnant if she has sex with him.
When a zombie bites into Chuck Norris, Chuck doesn't become a zombie, instead the zombie becomes another Chuck!
Chuck Norris can lift a chair while sitting on it. Chuck Norris' wet dreams are what we now know as tsunamis
Scientists created Arnold Schwarzenegger, Sly Stallone, Jean-Claude Van Damme, Vin Diesel, and Hulk Hogan by using urine samples from a toilet Chuck Norris once pi$$ed in.
Kansas public schools will offer a third alternative to teaching “evolution” and “intelligent design”…the “Chuck Norris let it happen” theory.
(Don't know if this ha been posted already, but I didn't find it) If Chuck Norris had performed in 300, the film would be called 1
When Chuck Norris calls 1-900 numbers, he doesnt get charged. He holds up the phone and money falls out.