Chuck Norris Your favourite Go to Google homepage, type in Chuck Norris and click im feeling lucky, its hilarious. Edit: Darn they toke it off, mah bad.
Q: Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? A: To kick your ass. Knock-knock. Who's there? Chuck. Chuck who? Open the door before I kick your ass. Q: How many Chuck Norris's does it take to change a light bulb? A: None. He can kick your ass in the dark.
My favorite is the movie where he changes from an obnoxious narcissist to a humble human being - oh wait, they haven't produced that. "Walter, Texas Stranger"
Ah-nuld went to the Urologist complaing about a reocurring problem: "Doc.....every time I go to the little Tuh-minater's woom....it's always de same thing! I pull down my pantz, I sit on the pawtie...and then..... ....five widdle fahts, and two sqvurts... and then........five more viddle fahts, and two sqvurts... and then............five MORE widdle fahts, and then two mohr sqvurts... and then evey starts flowing like I was eating a whole bottle a Meta-Moo-shil..... and then, it's back to the five fahts, and two sqvrts AGAIN..... and then I'm done.....DOC! Whut's wrong with me?" "Hmmmm......so....how's that go again?" "Uhm....ok.....Poot Poot Poot, Poot Poot PSS PSS! Poot Poot Poot, Poot Poot PSS PSS....Doo doo DOOOOOOOOO, Dooooooooooo doooooooooo.....Poot Poot Poot, Poot Poot PSS PSS.....just like THAT!" Well, the doc looked ahnuld over, and then scribbled something down on a card, then looked at him again....and scribbled some more down....and then handed ahnuld the card..... "Doc, this isn't a referral to a surgeon....it's "Chuck Norris Auto Repair"...." That's right, you don't need a doctor.....you need a Mechanic.....Chuck uses ONLY Genuine GM Parts!" "But Doc...........I'm an import!" "Not after Chuck Norris Gets done with ya!"
O god, I have this whatsapp group with colleagues and they once went on chuck norris tour. Attached you can find a few examples. Let me know if you guys want more :lol: