MySpace actually isn’t your space, it’s Chuck’s (he just lets you use it). Now I wonder who owns the MDL
Touching Chuck Norris' beard will increase you life expectancy by 6 years. Unfortunately, the following roundhouse kick will reduce your life expectancy by 300. You do the math.
Chuck Norris does not know where you live, but he knows where you will die Chuck Norris sleeps with a night light. Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris
The North American Bison nearly went extinct because Chuck Norris needed a leather jacket. It is considered a great accomplishment to go down Niagara Falls in a wooden barrel. Chuck Norris can go up Niagara Falls in a cardboard box.
Ghosts are actually caused by Chuck Norris killing people faster than Death can process them. Upon hearing that his good friend, Lance Armstrong, lost his testicles to cancer, Chuck Norris donated one of his to Lance. With just one of Chuck's nuts, Lance was able to win the Tour De France seven times. By the way, Chuck still has two testicles; either he was able to produce a new one simply by flexing, or he had three to begin with. No one knows for sure.
A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.
The only reason Chuck Norris didn't win an Oscar for his performance in "Sidekicks" is because nobody in their right mind would willingly give Chuck Norris a blunt metal object. That's just suicide.
McGyver can fix anything with a rubber-band, toothpick, and a piece of chewing gum. Chuck thinks that's pathetic.