The engines of the Enterprise need 30 minutes to warm up after a complete shutdown. According to Engineer Scott this is because "You cannot change the laws of physics". He retracted this statement after witnessing Chuck Norris coldstarting 14 Constellation vessels and 17 Birds of Prey in under 1 second with a single roundhouse-kick performed on a space station some 194 parsecs away. The affected starships can now go Warp 76.9 The space station still emanates enough energy to provide 5 nearby solar systems with power.
Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.
Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.
CNN was originally created as the "Chuck Norris Network" to update Americans with on-the-spot ass kicking in real-time.
The only other person Chuck Norris truly respects is Duke Nukem. Why? Because you cannot be careful enough with somebody who is eating atomic fuel for breakfast! ------------------------- Some people chew gum. Chuck Norris chews pinballs.
Chuck Norris once pulled out a single hair from his beard and skewered three men through the heart with it.
It is said that Chuck Norris can be in two places at the same time, but contrary to popular belief, this is not because he is ridiculously fast, but rather it is because Chuck Norris is his own evil twin, and both are evil.
Using his trademark roundhouse kick, Chuck Norris once made a field goal in RJ Stadium in Tampa Bay from the 50 yard line of Qualcomm stadium in San Diego.
Chuck Norris's sweat is the cause of global warming Chuck Norris was once asked to repeat himself. The last thing that person ever heard was the wooshing sound of a roundhouse kick.
Good one. Better yet: When you set up a UserAccount with 'Chuck Norris' as Username NO software on the PC, including Windows itself, will ever need a serial or activation. This mode is called 'Chuck Norris Mode', which is the only mode known to outfeature even GodMode.