Dear Tech Support,

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by bludgard, Jan 14, 2013.

  1. bludgard

    bludgard MDL Member

    Jan 4, 2011
    Dear Tech Support,

    Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 and noticed that the
    new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of new
    space and valuable resources. No mention of this phenomenon was included in
    the product brochure.
    In addition, Wife 1.0 installs itself into all other programs and launches
    during system initialization, where it monitors all other system activity.
    Applications such as Poker Night 10.3, Drunken Boys Night 2.5 and Saturday
    Football 5.0 no longer run, crashing the system whenever selected.
    I cannot seem to keep wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run
    some of my other favourite applications. I am thinking about going back to
    Girlfriend 7.0, but the uninstall does not work on this program.
    Can you please help me? Signed: A Troubled User

    -----Reply Separator-----

    Dear Troubled User,
    This is a very common problem men complain about, but is mostly due to a
    primary misconception. Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0
    with the idea that Wife 1.0 is merely a UTILITIES & ENTERTAINMENT program.
    Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and designed by it's creator to run
    It is unlikely you would be able to purge Wife 1.0 and still convert back to
    Girlfriend 7.0. Hidden operating files within your system would cause
    Girlfriend 7.0 to emulate Wife 1.0 so nothing is gained. It is impossible to
    uninstall, delete, or purge the program files from the system once
    installed. You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is not
    designed to do this.
    Some have tried to install Girlfriend 8.0 or Wife 2.0 but end up with more
    problems than the original system. Look in your manual under "Warnings-
    Alimony/Child support". I recommend you keep Wife 1.0 and deal with the
    I suggest installing background application program C:\YES DEAR to alleviate
    software augmentation. Having installed Wife 1.0 myself, I might also
    suggest you read the entire section regarding General Partnership Faults
    (GPFs). You must assume all responsibility for faults and problems that
    might occur, regardless of their cause. The best course of action will be to
    enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE. In any case avoid excessive use of C:\YES
    DEAR because ultimately you may have to give the APOLOGIZE command before
    the operating system will return to normal. The system will run smoothly as
    long as you take the blame for all the GPFs.
    Wife 1.0 is a great program, but very high-maintenance. Consider buying
    additional software to improve the performance of Wife 1.0. I recommend
    Flowers 3.1 and Diamonds 2K. Do not, under any circumstances install
    Secretary with Short Skirt 3.3. This is not a supported application for Wife
    1.0 and is likely to cause irreversible damage to the operating system.
    Best of Luck, Tech Support
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