On a beautiful deserted island in the middle of nowhere, the following people are stranded: 2 Italian men and I Italian woman 2 French men and 1 French woman 2 German men and 1 German woman 2 Greek men and 1 Greek woman 2 English men and 1 English woman 2 Polish men and 1 Polish woman 2 Japanese men and 1 Japanese woman 2 American men and 1 American woman 2 Australian men and 1 Australian woman 2 New Zealand men and 1 New Zealand woman 2 Irish men and I Irish woman One month later, the following things have occurred: *One Italian man killed the other Italian man for the Italian woman. *The two French men and the French woman are living happily together having loads of sex. *The two German men have a strict weekly schedule as to when they alternate with the German woman. *The two Greek men are sleeping with each other and the Greek woman is cleaning and cooking for them. *The two Englishmen are waiting for someone to introduce them to the English woman. *The Polish men took a long look at the endless ocean and one look at the Polish woman and they started swimming. *The two American men are contemplating the virtues of suicide, while the American woman keeps on bitching about her body being her own, the true nature of feminism, how she can do everything that they can do, about the necessity of fulfilment, the equal division of household chores, how her last boyfriend respected her opinion and treated her much nicer, and how her relationship with her mother is improving. *The two Japanese men have faxed Tokyo and are waiting for instructions. *The two Australian men beat each other senseless for the Australian woman, who is checking out all the other men, after calling them both "bloody wankers". *Both New Zealand men are searching the island for sheep. *The Irish began by dividing the island into North and South and set up a distillery. After the first few litres of coconut whisky they do not remember if sex is in the picture, but they are satisfied that at least the English are not getting any
Best one I have read so far is. Linux is inseparable from C. That's because that's what they choose it to be. Obscu @ LVL C lol
My new vegetarian girlfriend cooked me one of her favourite dishes last night. "What are these little round things?" I asked. "Have you never seen a chick-pea before?" she said. "Of course I have. My last girlfriend was up for anything, but that doesn't answer my question."
My grandfather always used to say "When I was a lad you could leave your doors open". That's probably the reason his submarine sank
I went to a catholic school in Ireland when I was young the brothers who ran the school didn’t like to teach sex education they had a more 'hands on' approach
Two tourists were driving through Wisconsin. As they were approaching Oconomowoc, they started arguing about the pronunciation of the town's name. They argued back and forth until they stopped for lunch. As they stood at the counter, one tourist asked the blonde employee. "Before we order, could you please settle an argument for us? Would you please pronounce where we are... very slowly? The blonde girl leaned over the counter and said, Burrrrrr, gerrrrrr, Kiiiing."
On their way to the church to get married, a young Catholic couple was involved in a fatal car accident. Being good Catholics the young couple find themselves sitting outside the Pearly Gates waiting for St. Peter to process them into Heaven. While waiting, they begin to wonder: could they possibly get married in Heaven? When St. Peter finally showed up, they asked him. St Peter said "I don't know. This is the first time anyone has asked. Let me go find out" and he leaves them sitting at the Gate. After three months, St Peter finally returns, looking somewhat bedraggled. "Yes" he informs the couple " I can get you married in Heaven". "Great!" said the couple "But we were just wondering, what if things don't work out? Could we also get a divorce in Heaven?" "You must be bloody joking" says St. Peter, red-faced with frustration, slamming his clipboard on the ground. "What's wrong?" asked the frightened couple". "OH, COME ON!" St. Peter shouted "It took me three months to find a priest up here.....Do you have any idea how long it'll take me to find a lawyer?"
A man and his girlfriend were out to dinner one night. The waiter tells them the night's special is chicken almondine and fresh fish. "The chicken sounds good; I'll have that," the woman says. The waiter nods. "And the vegetable?" he asks. "Oh, he'll have the fish," she replies.
Young man goes to a disco, picks up a chick. The young lady invites him back to her place for a coffee. She warns him she is on her menstrual cycle. You lead the way, he replies, I will follow you in my Honda.
I was explaining to the wife when you die you could be reincarnated but must be a different creature. She said she'd like to come back as a cow. I replied, "You obviously haven't been listening."
I went to see my Therapist today,She said todays letter is N, tell me something beginning with N that you are no good at ? I said Spelling,,
Helping my neighbour move some stuff this morning and I accidentally dropped his glass chess set breaking most of the pieces... With that I offered to pay for it and he asked how I was going to pay... I said cheque mate...