SATIRE: ANOTHER MODEST PROPOSAL... VOTE FOR ME ! I LOVE YOU ! YOU LOVE ME ! I AM THAT GREAT BIG BEAUTIFUL, WONDERFUL FUN MADE GUY ! VOTE FOR ME ! I'LL MAKE YOU CRY ! I LOVE YOU ! VOTE FOR ME, I WILL MAKE GREAT FUN FOR YOU AGAIN ! VOTE FOR ME ! I'LL MAKE YOU ! I LOVE YOU ! I AM A DRUG CRAZED BABY KILLER, PEDOPHILE, CANNIBAL... VOTE FOR ME; I LOVE YOU ! VOTE FOR ME ! I'LL MAKE YOU ! I LOVE YOU ! VOTE FOR ME; EVERYBODY LOVES ME ! I LOVE YOU ! YOU LOVE ME; VOTE FOR ME ! I'LL MAKE YOU ! I AM THE GREATEST; VOTE FOR ME ! I LOVE YOU ! VOTE FOR ME, I LOVE YOU AND YOU LOVE ME ! I AM YOUR EVIL, GREEDY, NARCISSISTIC NAZI-FASCIST MAFIOSO ! I LOVE YOU ! YOU LOVE ME ! VOTE FOR ME ! VOTE FOR ME ! I'LL MAKE YOU ! I AM YOUR KING WHO IS KING OF ALL KINGS ! VOTE FOR ME; I LOVE YOU ! YOU LOVE ME ! I AM SATAN'S LITTLE HELPER ! VOTE FOR ME ! I LOVE YOU ! YOU LOVE ME ! I AM THE MILITARY, INDUSTRIAL, FINANCIAL BANKING COMPLEX... I LOVE YOU ! VOTE FOR ME ! I'LL MAKE YOU ! YOU LOVE ME! I WILL MAKE THE WORLD FUN AND SAFE AGAIN ! I AM THE CRISIS... VOTE FOR ME; YOU NEED ME. I HAVE ONLY ONE BURNING DESIRE: LET ME STAND NEXT TO YOUR FIRE ! I'LL BRING THE THERMITE AND, I'LL BRING THE BARBECUE SAUCE ! I LOVE YOU ! VOTE FOR ME ! I'LL MAKE YOU ! I LOVE YOU ! YOU LOVE ME VOTE FOR ME ! I'LL MAKE YOU ! YOU LOVE ME ! I LOVE YOU I AM THE FUN MAN BEHIND THE CURTAIN ! LOVE ME ! VOTE FOR ME ! I'LL MAKE YOU ! I LOVE YOU ! REMEMBER I LOVE YOU ! YOU LOVE ME ! I AM YOUR AMBIVALENT LOVER ! VOTE FOR ME ! I'LL MAKE YOU ! I LOVE YOU ! VOTE FOR ME ! I'LL MAKE YOU ! I LOVE YOU ! I LOVE YOU ! YOU LOVE ME ! YOU LOVE ME ! LET'S MAKE LOVE FUN AND GREAT AGAIN ! I LOVE YOU ! I LOVE YOU ! YOU LOVE ME ! VOTE FOR ME ! I'LL MAKE YOU ! I LOVE YOU ! REMEMBER I LOVE YOU ! VOTE FOR ME ! REMEMBER I LOVE YOU ! VOTE FOR ME ! YOU LOVE ME AND I LOVE YOU ! VOTE ME, ME, ME ! YOU LOVE ME; I LOVE YOU; YOU LOVE ME, ME, ME... YES, IT'S ALL ABOUT ME, ME, ME ! YOU LOVE ME ! YOU LOVE ME ! YOU LOVE ME, YOU LOVE ME ! REMEMBER I LOVE YOU ! VOTE FOR ME ! I AM SO PRETTY: YOU LOVE ME ! YOU LOVE ME ! YOU LOVE ME ! YOU LOVE ME ! YOU LOVE ME ! YOU LOVE ME ! REMEMBER I LOVE YOU ! YOU LOVE ME ! REMEMBER I LOVE YOU ! YOU LOVE ME ! VOTE FOR ME ! LET'S MAKE ME, ME, ME GREAT AGAIN; I AM YOUR HIGH STRUNG, HIGH MAINTENANCE, NARCISSISTIC, PSYCO-WITCH; MAKE ME YOUR BITCH ! YOU LOVE ME ! YOU LOVE ME ! YOU LOVE ME ! YOU LOVE ME ! YOU LOVE ME ! YOU LOVE ME ! REMEMBER I LOVE YOU ! BAD IS GOOD AND GOOD IS BAD; BLACK IS WHITE AND WHITE IS BLACK... YOU LOVE ME ! YOU LOVE ME ! YOU LOVE ME ! REMEMBER I LOVE YOU ! VOTE FOR ME ! REMEMBER I LOVE YOU ! YOU LOVE ME ! IT'S REALLY YOU I LOVE; I AM YOUR GOD ABOVE; WORSHIP ME ! LOVE ME ! I AM THE KEY ! VOTE FOR ME ! YES, IT'S ALL ABOUT ME, ME, ME ! I LOVE YOU AND YOU LOVE ME ! YOU LOVE ME ! NOTE: TAKEN IN PART FROM THE BOOK "RAVINGS OF A MAD MAN". COPYRIGHT AND ALL RIGHTS RESERVED AS HE LOVES YOU AND HE'S WHAT YOU DESERVE! SO DON'T BE ALARMED AND DON'T FEEL SAD OR BAD IF THE END OF YOUR WORLD SEEMS CLOSE AT HAND; FOR, HE'S NOT TO BLAME AND HE'S CERTAINLY NOT MAD, FOR YOU SEE OF COURSE, HE'S ONLY A MAN... WHO CAN PUT THESE WORDS INTO SONG... AS HE MAY BE VERY, VERY WRONG...
After having dug to a depth of 100 feet last year, French scientists found traces of copper wire dating back 200 years and came to the conclusion that their ancestors already had a telephone network more than 150 years ago. Not to be outdone by the French: in the weeks that followed, American archaeologists dug to a depth of 200 feet before finding traces of copper wire. Shortly afterwards, they published an article in the New York Times saying, "American archaeologists, having found traces of 250-year-old copper wire, have concluded that their ancestors already had an advanced high-tech communications network 50 years earlier than the French." A few weeks later, The Irish Archaeological Society reported that after Murphy had dug down to a level of 3 feet he had found absolutely f**k all. Murphy therefore concluded that 250 years ago Ireland had already gone wireless.
Martha's husband was cremated when he passed. Picking up the urn, she poured him out on the patio table. Then, while tracing her fingers in the ashes, she started talking to him. "You know that dishwasher you promised me? I bought it with the insurance money!" "Remember that car you promised me? Well, I bought it with the insurance money!" "Remember that diamond ring you promised me? Bought it too, insurance money!" Finally, she said, "Remember that blow job I promised you? Here it comes!!"