A priest and a rabbi were sitting next to each other on an airplane. After a while, the priest turned to the rabbi and asked, “Is it still a requirement of your faith that you not eat pork?” The rabbi responded, “Yes, that is still one of our laws.” The priest then asked, “Have you ever eaten pork?” To which the rabbi replied, “Yes, on one occasion I did succumb to temptation and tasted a ham sandwich.” The priest nodded in understanding and went on with his reading. A while later, the rabbi spoke up and asked the priest, “Father, is it still a requirement of your church that you remain celibate?” The priest replied, “Yes, that is still very much a part of our faith.” The rabbi then asked him, “Father, have you ever fallen to the temptations of the flesh?” The priest replied, “Yes, rabbi, on one occasion I was weak and broke my vow of celibacy.” The rabbi nodded understandingly and remained silent, thinking, for about five minutes. Finally, the rabbi said, “Beats the s**t out of a ham sandwich, doesn’t it?”
Girl Misses her Period An 18-year-old Italian girl tells her mother that she has missed her period for two months. Very worried, the mother goes to the drugstore and buys a pregnancy kit. The test result shows that the girl is pregnant. Shouting, cursing, crying, the mother says, "Who was the pig that did this to you? I want to know!" The girl picks up the phone and makes a call. Half an hour later, a Ferrari stops in front of their house. A mature and distinguished man with gray hair and impeccably dressed in an Armani suit steps out of the of the Ferrari and enters the house. He sits in the living room with the father, mother, and the girl and tells them: "Good morning, your daughter has informed me of the problem. I can't marry her because of my personal family situation but I'll take charge. I will pay all costs and provide for your daughter for the rest of her life." "Additionally, if a girl is born, I will bequeath a Ferrari, two retail stores, a townhouse, and a $1-millon bank account. If a boy is born, my legacy will be a couple of factories, a beach house and a $2-millon bank account. If twins, they will receive a factory and $1-millon each. However, if there is a miscarriage, what do you suggest I do?" At this point, the father, who had remained silent, places a hand firmly on the man's shoulder and tells him, "You try again."