I'm going to file under "jokes". I got a real-life chuckle when I launched one of my old XP VM's. Two of four corners of all windows are "rounded", the other two are "square". So maybe Win11 having everything "rounded" is not for a "futuristic" aesthetic, as they themselves claim (ie, "Fluent Design"). But rather, it's a "nostalgic" look of the XP Era.
It is a step back from the minimalistic era of Windows 8 and 10 (and an attempt to mimic certain fruit designs).
Declan, Mick and Seamus entered their local pub’s weekly raffle, and to their surprise, they each won a prize: Declan a bottle of whisky, Mick a large turkey and Seamus a toilet brush. The next week, they met again in the pub and talked about their prizes. Declan extolled the pleasures of his smooth Irish whisky, while Mick reported that the turkey was the most delicious he had ever tasted. Seamus looked rather glum when asked about the toilet brush. ‘It wasn’t that great,’ he said. ‘I think I’ll go back to using paper.’
One day a man went into the dentists to get a tooth pulled. When the dentist told him he needed to give him some anaesthetic, but he refused. The dentist told him this again and he refused again saying “I have experienced the 2 worst pains in the world I don't need anaesthetic". So, the dentist pulled the tooth and the guy just sat there and didn't even flinch. When this was done the dentist says to the man, "What were those pains?". The guy says, “The first when happened while I was out hunting, I squatted down to take a sh*t and got my balls caught in a bear trap". The dentist asks him what the second one was and the guy says: "When I reached the end of the Chain"
Paddy and Murphy are working on a building site. Paddy says to Murphy, “I’m gonna get the day off. I’m gonna pretend I’ve gone mad!” He climbs up the rafters, hangs upside down and shouts, “I’m a lightbulb, I’m a lightbulb!” Murphy watches in amazement. The foreman shouts: “Paddy, go home. You’ve gone mad.” So Paddy leaves the site. Murphy starts packing his kit up to leave as well. “Where do you think you’re going?” asks the foreman. “Well, I can’t work in the friggin dark!” said Murphy.
I'll file this under "jokes". I just learned a cool new trick yesterday. Had to take the car in for some minor work. All they had to do was drive it from the parking lot to the service bay and return it to the parking lot. No driving up and down the street needed! SO I REMOVED THE FUSE FOR THE SEAT POSITION AND SIDE MIRROR CONTROLS. First time *EVER* that I've had **MINOR** work done and it didn't take me SEVERAL MINUTES putting the seat and mirrors back to the right spot!
This was like 20 years or so ago, but I once got a free lunch from a coworker. We were walking in from the parking lot and a brand new bright and shiny muscle car was in the parking lot. We (all men) were drooling over this awesome muscle car! I commented that a FEMALE is driving the car and everyone else was like NO WAY, this is a "man's car". Manual transmission, "jet black" treated tires, shiny chrome rims. I wouldn't back down, swore that a FEMALE was driving this car. We sat at a table where we could watch the parking lot. Sure enough, half way through our lunch, a high-heels chick with "paint on her face" drives off in the "man's car" muscle car. Everyone else asked, "How the H3LL did you know that a girl was driving that car?" "Easy! The rearview mirror wasn't aimed to view cars behind it, it was aimed for tweaking and checking on all that face paint makeup!" (though yeah, a bit too off-topic for "jokes", was more of a funny "you had to be there" to laugh at...)
The man from the window company called Miss O’Leary on the telephone. “Miss O’Leary, he says, you haven’t made a single payment on your new windows. Is there something the matter?” Bristling with annoyance, Miss O’Leary replies. “I may be up in years, but I still have my wits about me. Wasn’t your man after telling me those windows would pay for themselves in a year?
(laugh with me or at me, makes no difference to me) How's this for an odd start to the day? I logged into my electric company billpay web site and raised my fist in the air and pumped like my favorite team just won, whooping in joy, woot woot woot. I logged in three days in a row and my invoice is finally here, ready to be paid. Woot woot woot. (it's the little things in life, my friends)
The O'Briens were married for 5 yrs. and no kids. Fr. Kelly said he was going to Rome for 5 yrs. and would light a candle that they would have little ones. 5 yrs. later Fr. Kelly is back and sees Mrs. O'Brien with 3 little ones walkin' and twins in a pram. He says, "Glory be to God, isn't wonderful to see all the youngins. But, where is Mr. O'Brien?" She replies, "He's over in Rome. He went to blow out dat feckin' candle"!
Lost my job the other day. To make matters worse a bill collector calls. "Excuse me sir, according to our data base we haven't received your last payment" I smiled and answered "Yes you have..."
One day, when Pat and Mike were working on an excavation for the subway, Mike's feet slipped, and· in he fell, a matter of some twenty 1eet. Pal, trembling, stared over the edge into the muck below. "Air ye dead, Mike?" "Sure," it was a groan, "I'm kilt entirely." "Air ye really dead?" Another groan. "Maybe I ain't quite dead, Pat; but I'm knocked spachless."
Patrick McGillicuddy appeared before the Judge, asking to be naturalized. "Have you read the Declaration of Independ- ence?" "That I h'ave not, yer Honor." "Have you read the Constitution of the United States?" "Divil a worrd of it." The Judge looked at him sternly. "Well, what have you read?" McGlllicuddy grinned shrewdly. "I have red ' hairs on me neck, yer Honor."
An Irishman, on the night that his wife was confined in childbirth, went out a bit prema- turely to celebrate the addition to his family, with a few chosen cronies. He did not return home to his family until three o'clock in the morning. He was barely in the house, when the nurse rushed up and uncovered a bundle of blankets, showing the bewildered Irishmen triplets. At this very moment the clock struck once, twice, three times . . . "Wan, two, three . . . Sure, an' I could count 'em by myself, small thanks to ye," Pat addressed the clock solemnly. "An' one thing more. I'll be thankin' the good God I didn't come home at twelve!"