I have been pissing my friend off with this pun. What do you call Marat running? A Marat-hon!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Also: "What's up?" "A Pixar Movie"
A Gay man spies a drop-dead gorgeous man in an Armani suit walking along and decides to follow him. The man walks into an office complex, and the Gay man follows Him inside. The Gay man says to the receptionist: "Who was that Darling man who just walked in?" The receptionist says: "Oh that's Dr. Zimmerman." The Gay man replies: "Well, I'm not feeling well, I have to see Him." The receptionist snidely says: "He's a proctologist!" The gay man says: "Oh...That's perfect!" So He makes an appointment. Two weeks later, The gay man waddles into Dr. Zimmerman's office. The doctor gets Him up on the table. Dr Zimmerman exclaims: "You have a dozen roses up your ass!" The Gay man says: "Read the card! Read the card!"
a farmer goes to the market with his wife. they walk past a fish stall. his wife sniffs. smelly here. take smaller steps, then, says he.
Mom and dad were lying in bed, and Mom was talking to dad. Mom said "Those two sons of yours have Filthy mouths...The first one that curses tomorrow will will get the crap beaten out of him!". The next morning, Mom is up early, making breakfast. She says to the first son: "What would You like for breakfast?" The kid replies: "Gimmie some F@#king pancakes!" And She proceeds to beat the living crap our of him. Mom turns to the next kid and says: "Now...What do -YOU- want for breakfast?!?" The other kid replies: "Well I sure don't want no F@#king pancakes!"
The sound of a baby laughing is the most beautiful sound in the world Unless it's 3am And you don't have a baby
I urgently needed a few days off work, but I knew the Boss would not allow me to take leave. I thought that maybe if I acted “CRAZY” then he would tell me to take a few days off. So, I hung upside down on the ceiling and made funny noises. My co-worker asked me what I was doing. I told her that I was pretending to be a light bulb so that the Boss would think I was “CRAZY” and give me a few days off. A few minutes later the Boss came into the office and asked, “What are you doing?” I told him I was a light bulb. He said, “You are clearly stressed out. Go home and recuperate for a couple of days.” I jumped down and walked out of the office. When my co-worker followed me, the Boss asked her, “And where do you think you’re going?” She said, “I’m going home too, I can’t work in the dark.”