The Story of Chuck Norris Chuck created everything and everyone. Life started with nothing but giant lizards called dinosaurs. Chuck got pissed at their stupidity and although they say a meteor killed them Chuck Norris just roundhouse kicked the Earth so hard that the shock wave killed them. This is also how Pangaea split into the continents. Then chuck went into hiding and did not surface again until Greek was formed. Alclema then was chosen by Chuck to give birth to him again. Alclema (although not stated in Greek mythology) acutely had 3 kids. One was Chuck, one tried to leave the womb first and got killed by chuck, and the last one was chuck's younger, weaker, brother Hercules. Chuck, 16 years after being born again, chucked Hercules into the sky and Hercules was never seen again. The reason Chuck did this was because Hercules said that he was manlier than Chuck. Chuck then left the earth and went to hell for 2 reasons, one because people didn’t respect him enough and chuck was graceful enough to spare everyone and two, to punch Hades in the face. Hades then, shamed with 2 horn like lumps on his head, legally changed his name to Satan. Chuck did not bring himself into the world again until about 3 B.C. then inserted himself into a virgin. Although Chuck could speak when born they let his parents name him anyway. They called him Jesus. The things they said Jesus did were actually his minor less violent achievements. No one can name them all but he did in fact build the Pyramids when he was 3. The reason his disciples did not write the more violent stuff down is because they wanted the Bible to be believable. Chuck did die on the cross and resurrected himself later. The reason he did this was to show the Jews and Greeks that he is invincible. He then killed everyone at his crucifixion. Around the time when Chuck left he had many different forms, each one to spread the knowledge of himself. Those people were known as the following; King Midas, Noah, Genghis Khan, and King Tut. Which leads us to present day awsome.
Correction: the mind normally is stunned and paralyzed just by the sight of Chuck Norris. When Chuck metes out his roundhouse kick, people are usually already not conscious anymore. Don't forget, Chuck is also the best at being compassionate
What's the difference between a Refrigerator and Chuck Norris? ANSWER: A refrigerator doesn't fart when you pull the meat out!
It was not fair to delete my last post (the word was nagger) . I have covered the words that are not appropriate and still I got deleted post. Anyway, since it is my last post here I would like to say thanks to all members that have contributed to this thread. Please, continue posting and enjoying Chuck Norris facts. God, Country, Liberty! Ennio.
Ennio wanted me to delete his account. He also wants that this thread will remain and people should enjoy posting in here... I'm sorry about his decision, but every member has the right to ask for deletion of the own account.....